A year without Chocolate

I've decided my bread and water fasting just hasn't been working out around here. My job gives me very little control over what I eat and very little free time to plan and prepare what I need for myself. For a while, I tried "one meal" fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, but that tended to turn into "after sundown" fasting, which translated to "gorge myself in the dark." I needed something different, that was manageable and still felt like fasting. So, I decided to give up "sweets."

Sweets is a nebulous category that I'm loosely defining as "candy, cookies, cakes, pies, brownies, and the coup de grace: ice cream." I've debated a bit about special occasions

It is common to dedicate a fast to an intention. I dedicate this year without chocolate to my search for a husband.

yay cookie!!

I'm back from a weeklong Ignatian retreat (awesome and intense), during which I didn't even pretend to fast. I did do half of my workout video one day and hiked a small mountain! The drive back made me very nausiated and a bit cranky. I hid in my room through this morning (because there were people upstairs and I didn't want to go near them to get food). Eventually, I decided to poke through my drawers to see if there was any food I hadn't thrown away (how I miss you PB M&M's...). And there you were, my cookie!! I'd completely forgotten about you. Oatmeal craisin cookie for breakfast, not too unreasonable.

I'm also considering a long walk to the "nearest" krispy kreme when I get the chance (which sadly isn't likely for a WHILE <pout>). During which, I will most definitely consume more calories than I burn - but it's the thought that counts, right? Right?

fast day fail

Bagel for breakfast, and then I convinced myself I was getting light headed, so I ate a ton of club crackers, right before treating myself and my charge to McD's. Then, of course, I went straight home and participated in the house dinner - because joining together at the dinner table is the most important part of community. (Side sad note, the McD's was mostly bribery to get my friend to join us at the dinner table.) *sigh*
I walked away from the dinner table beyond stuffed and yet, 2 hours later, the cookie is calling. I considered downgrading to hot chocolate with whipped cream as a sort of fast day compromise. How pathetic that I'm finding it hard to sacrifice even my desire for hot chocolate, let alone not having fasted the whole day. =(

feed me

*LORD, satisfy my hunger for what it really is, a hunger for YOU. Feed me with the BREAD of LIFE.*

Forward?

I woke up late and didn't eat anything until 5pm, whereupon I ate an oatmeal craisin cookie. I had a reasonable dinner and then 2 cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream. On average, pretty darned good for me as a daily caloric intake. Not the healthiest of choices, but not terrible.
Tomorrow's supposed to be a fast day, but I haven't quite figured out a good rhythm for those again.

I'm not sure if we're starting RCIA again or not. I think we're on a break after Easter... which is helpful, since there are always so many snacks there and after dinner is the hardest time for me to behave.
BIG pat on the back though for resisting eating the other cookie before bed. I stared at it hard and had a long conversation with my stomach and taste buds. Stomach wasn't hungry and taste buds were ultimately persuaded to be satisfied by the thought of a cookie in the drawer to be consumed at a later date.
Went on an even smaller walk today. In part because I spent the time building relationships with coworkers.
The new water bottles are in!! Drank a good 56ozs! Still not completely convinced they measure up to my previous one. More data are needed.
Might need to start considering my sleep and hygiene health in this. Both clearly need work, as I am right now well past my bedtime and not the least bit interested in brushing my teeth or sleeping. Though one of those may be tmi and the other maybe a bit counter productive to being dedicated to blogging.
Spiritual health could also be on the table, but that is clearly off the "body" scope.
So much to do, so little time. Definitely a danger in trying to do everything at once, bite off more than I can chew, despair, and give up on it all.

I threw away my PB M&Ms

It's a small step, but a first step.

I'd been so looking forward to buying cheap candy after Easter, but not only am I not going to buy any, but I threw out the last of the PB M&M's I had from a pre-Easter sale.

"Wasting" food is always hard for me, but my very wise sister-in-love once told me that food that your body doesn't need is even more wasted by eating it, AND it does harm to your body.

I also went on a small walk with a friend to a restaurant and back and kept half the sandwich for later.

Currently fighting the desire to go get a soda. Water.

My new water bottle should arrive in the mail tomorrow. Hope it stands up to the previous one.